All We Want Is Reasons Why
by tt22123
Summary: Tony finds out Bruce's secret to staying calm. Will his own secret come out at the same time? ScienceBros story, will contain Smut TW: Self Harm I don't own the avengers nor any of the MCU unfortunately.


"Why Bruce? Why would you do this to yourself?"

"You asked once what my secret was."

"Yeah but Bruce I was thinking along the lines of meditation, not- not this."

"I'm sorry Tony."

"No, I don't want apologies. You have nothing to say sorry for. I'm sorry." Tony walked over to his desk and pulled out the first aid kit that was kept there, he was always injuring himself in the lab, it made sense to have the right supplies nearby, now he was thankful for that fact. "This might sting a bit," Tony whispered as he cleaned out all of the self imposed cuts along Bruce's arm. The man flinched slightly when he first felt the antiseptic against the open wound and looked at Tony in fascination and awe when he noticed and took Bruce's hand in his own, gentle running his fingertip along the knuckles.

As soon as he had made sure that he had cleaned each of the cuts, he counted 17, he pulled out some gauze and a bandage, wrapping it tightly around the man's arm, protecting him from it, and it from him. As soon as the bandage was secured Tony placed a soft kiss to the bandages before ducking his head so the doctor couldn't see him.

"I am sorry Tony."

"Don't. Don't apologise for this. Please, just don't."

"Why not?"

"Because this isn't your fault. You have no reason to say sorry to me or anyone else about it. Believe me."

"How is it not my fault? I'm the one who held the knife to my arm everytime, no one else. I'm the one who did it in the lab when I knew that there was a chance that you might see me. All of this is my fault Tony!"

"No Bruce. No one is to blame for this. It isn't anyone's fault."

"Oh yeah, and what could you possibly know about it Tony‽" Tony's face closed off and became devoid of all emotion when he heard these words which made Bruce feel instantly guilty. Before he could even begin to apologise to the man for snapping, the inventor began to remove the long sleeve shirt he wore so that he was knelt in front of the doctor bare chested.

Normally people would be drawn to the blue glow of the arc reactor in his chest cavity but that was not what Bruce noticed. No, Bruce was drawn to the silver and pink lattice of scars that was built up across the man's torso and upper arms. The most recent additions looking to be less than a week old in the doctor's expert opinion.

"Tony, I'm sorry for saying that."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." Bruce was expecting to get some sort of response from the man but hearing the normally expressive inventor so empty of emotion scared him slightly.

"It matters to me though." Tony nodded at the man but that was the only sign he gave that he was even listening to Bruce. "Why Tony?"

"Why does it matter Bruce? It's not like anyone would miss me if I was gone anyway, this is just because I am too much of a coward to actually go through with it. Steve was right about me when he said that I'm not one to lay down my own life. I will do any dangerous crap I can think of because I don't care if I live or die, but I am too much of a coward to actively try to die."

"If no one else, I would miss you. The Hulk sure as hell would miss you, you seem to be the only person he actually likes. If your still being here is cowardice then I'm glad you aren't brave, I don't want to lose you Tony. I think if that happened the Hulk would actually let me die though so that's always an option, but that doesn't mean I want you to check out."

"I sometimes wish that I were brave enough you know, or that someone else would kill me, any of the evil villains we fight, although if it didn't actually kill me I would probably get a load of shit from Cap for letting them get me."

"Language," Bruce joked hoping to get some sort of reaction from the inventor and almost cheered when his efforts were rewarded with a small smile. It was barely noticeable unless you knew the billionaire well but still Bruce counted it as a victory.

"If the Hulk lets you die just because he misses me, I will personally find a way to bring us both back so that I can kill him myself."

"You make it sound like you're planning to Tony. Like you're planning on going through with it and ending your life."

"Not actively, but like I said, if someone else does the honours, I wouldn't fight it."

"But, no-"

"I'm not saying it will happen Brucie, just don't be surprised if it does."

"You- you can't though Tony, I love you-r company."

"What?"

"I love spending time with you, working alongside you, talking to you. I love how you aren't afraid of the Hulk when everyone else is, you actively try and get me to change so you can play with him. I love the way you think when we are doing science in the lab together. I love the things that you create when no one else ever could because they just aren't you. I love the way you will stay up with me when I don't want to leave the lab for fear of what awaits me in my sleep. I love the look you get when there is a problem that you just can't quite figure out. I love you. Anthony Edward Stark, I love you, and I will never say they words to anyone else, when you die, those words will die with you, but I really hope that won't be anytime soon."

"Beautiful speech Bruce. Forgive me for not being a wordsmith but I love you too, and I love the big guy as well." Bruce was pleased that there was finally some real emotion in the words that Tony spoke so he couldn't help the huge smile that spread across his face, it was like an infection, the way that it instantaneously spread to Tony as well and the man looked years younger with a true smile on his features.

"The big guy loves you Tony. Don't-don't make me lose you?" Tears welled up in Bruce's eyes and began to flow over as he said these words. Each salty tear being kissed away gently by the man knelt on the floor in front of his chair. Bruce pulled Tony up so that he sat on his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around the small mechanic, crying into the man's bare shoulder.

Tony returned the hug as well as he could from his position while burying his face in the crook of the scientist's neck.

"Shh, shh, Bruce. I'm here. Don't cry baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here." Tony continued to whisper soft reassurances until he felt Bruce stop crying, placing a kiss to the man's collarbone as they continued to sit there.

When Tony pulled back further, Bruce searched his face for something and clearly he found what it was that he was looking for as the next second you couldn't tell where one man ended and the next began. Lips were smashed together and hands were a flurry of activity as they removed one another's clothing. Bruce's top, was the first to go before the two men stood so they could continue, lips never breaking apart. By the time they had to break for some air both men had been stripped completely, looking over each other while panting heavily from the lack of air. Tony let out an almost feral growl upon seeing all of Bruce and instantly was back to the doctor.

Biting, and nipping, and ducking, and licking, until a vivid red mark shone with saliva against the man's neck. Slowly moving along his shoulder before down his chest, continuing with his ministrations, leaving a trail of marks of where he had been. Bruce was begging for more as Tony continued his slow descent, mapping every part of the doctor's body that he could reach.

Upon reaching Bruce's weeping erection he heard the whimper from above which made him pause and stand up.

"Tony, stop."

"Shit Bruce, I'm sorry. I can go if you want."

"No! I-I don't want you to leave, it's just, well, it's going to be hard to control myself during this, especially with how I feel about you. I don't wanna Hulk-out, I don't wanna hurt you Tony, I can't hurt you."

"Ahhh, see there's your problem. You said it yourself, Hulk loves me, Hulk wouldn't hurt Tony would he, so you don't need to worry. If you don't want to we can stop, but don't let him stop you."

"I'm scared though Tony."

"I know, but I love you both and I trust neither of you will hurt me."

"O-okay."

"Do you want to continue?" As soon as Tony saw Bruce nod his head he dropped to his knees in front of the man and licked a long stripe along the erection in front of him while silently coating his fingers with lube. As he took the man into his mouth he moved his hands around him so that one gripped his arse while the other gently circled his puckered entrance.

Bruce moaned wantonly when he felt curious fingers behind him and a warm, wet mouth in front, but this moan was all it took for Tony who took Bruce's erection deeper until it hit the back of his throat while pressing in one wriggling finger a little bit at a time.

"I won't break Tony, fuck me." Tony popped the erection of of his mouth to reply.

"Not going to happen yet big guy. I told you that you wouldn't hurt me, I'm not going to hurt you either."

"Tony- I can take a lot more than one finger without any pain, please." Hearing the pleas, Tony thrust in with three fingers and found them easily welcomed, he crooked them slightly and began searching for the man's prostate, finding it out the second try which made Bruce moan loudly and his knees buckle. Tony held the man steady with one hand while he stood up, still not relenting in his slow, torturous thrusting.

"How about we move this to the bed?" Tony asked, voice gravely with desire, each word being punctuated by a single quick press to the man's prostate. Each one making a wave of pleasure course through the doctor's body, ending at his knees which would waver each time, answering Tony's question for him.

The genius removed his fingers from within Bruce and pushed him backwards until they reached the bed he had put in the lab for those long nights of work.

"JARVIS, lock the doors." One final pushed saw Bruce led naked on the bed below Tony, panting heavily while lust made his eyes seem almost black. The doctor shifted back up the bed, Tony watching every move he made, until he found his head against the pillows.

The doctor placed one pillow under his lower back, drew his legs up and let them fall to the side, opening himself up for Tony to lay down with him, between his legs. An invite that was very soon accepted as the man laughed himself up the bed, nestled between Bruce's thighs, and claimed the doctor's lips in a possessive kiss while rutting their erections against each other. Tony pulled back for air but couldn't resist placing a soft chaste kiss to the man-beneath-him's lips every so often.

"Tony, fuck me, please!" Bruce's voice had dropped several octaves as he voiced his desire. Pulling the doctor's legs up towards his chest, Tony lined himself up with his entrance. With a whispered "I love you" he pushed into the man led on his bed, sheathing himself within Bruce.

At first he didn't move, allowing Bruce to become accustomed to him before starting to make slow, shallow thrusts. Much to the annoyance of the good doctor it seemed.

"Tony, fuck me. Harder. Faster. Please." The words were merely whimpers until the final word was drawn out as a whole when a thrust hit him square in the prostate. As usual, Tony gave in to the man's pleas and began to speed up his thrusts, striking his prostate with every movement, until Bruce was unable to say anything. Well he might have been trying to say something but the only sounds that made their way into the room were loud moans, heavy with desire like electricity that danced in the air around their bodies.

It didn't take long of this fresh torture before Bruce was cumming in between them, painting their chests white with the salty fluid. Feeling Bruce clench around him set Tony off and so each man yelled the other's name loud enough that they may have been thanking the heavens for delivering the other.

Tony pulled out of Bruce, drawing a whimper from the other man, as they lay out together on the bed, careful of Bruce's bandaged arm. As they led there neither man thought of anything but what they had just done and it seemed like a far better way of forgetting their past than a knife ever could but, of course, Tony was the one to break the silence.

"Hey Bruce? No Hulk-out."

"You're right. No Hulk-out." With that both men drifted off into a contented sleep, cuddled together, not caring about the drying sticky mass of cum between them.


End file.
